dROPPEd into a foreign circle

recently I felt an OBLIGATION TO SUCCUMB to the pleadings of my coworkers and spend an evening in a TRENDY NIGHTCLUB with their circle of dear friends. you know, the kind with $10 drinks. there were a lot of bitter women in our huge party hailing from THE OUTER SKIRTS OF THE CITY, like YONKERS and WESTCHESTER. [most of these OUTER SKIRTS party people could not parallel park for shit.] the aforementioned bitter women had an instant affinity for yours truly, who was quite UN-bitter that night, and mostly DYING OF BOREDOM.

but then, they SAT me in the MIDDLE of their circle and began to tell DRAMATIC TALES of BETRAYAL and general SKETCHINESS. according to them, each of their boyfriends was a CHEATIN' HEART, with naked pictures to prove it. MAY I ADD that at this point there had been many exclamatory "MMM! no he DI'NT!"'s. I listened to STORY AFTER STORY, WINCING with disgust AND sympathy. the only words that I could muster were "that's horrible," and make PUPPY EYES at them. then I pointed them to CERTAIN WEBSITES where they could possibly do something called FIND A NEW APARTMENT AND MOVE THE FUCK AWAY. they promised to check it out.

when the women were done telling their respective tales of why they are angry and bitter, THEY ALL LOOKED AT ME EXPECTANTLY, as if it were my turn to share a story of betrayal. there was an uncomfortably long silence (besides the horrid music the dj was spinning) after which I APOLOGIZED for not having anything comparable to contribute.

lesson of the night: INTOCCABILE WILL NO LONGER BE "CHILLIN," "HANGING OUT," or "DROPPIN IT LIKE IT's HOT" with coworkers and these angry cats they call their dear friends.

* flees from ROCKIO's locusts *

-intoccabile