the NEW YORKER COPIES RSBFARTS STYLE!

you know you've made it in the world when THE NEW YORKER copies your style! Here is a quote from a recent review of "The Village" by Anthony Lane

...the villagers are told by their elders not to venture outside of town because of the HUGE SCARY MONTSERS IN THE WOODS."

No if thats not copying a patented style i don't know what is, which is why we really need to put our heads together and get this 3rd Case going. small letters CAPITAL LETTERS SuPeR CaSe

See i don't even KNOW how to write it

rocky

GIVE IT AWAY NOW

OK everyone I just realized this is VERSION 2 of the random sketchty brainfart blog so I'm gonna lay down a little bit of the NEW PHILOSOPHY AROUND TOWN.

Excuse me for quoting FLEA in the title of this piece but recently I've been on a MINIMALIST KICK all about getting rid of possessions.

Here's a funny joke with PROFOUND PURPOSE: "Why couldn't the Buddha vacuum the corner of his room????????????"
ANSWER: " Because he didn't haven't any ATTATCHMENTS" !!!!

For those who didn't take intro to Buddhism at college let me tell you that means he didn't have many possessions AND OF COURSE IT WAS WAY BETTER THAT WAY.

So basically I'm selling my car and whole bunch of stuff. (((ONLINE OF COURSE))))
Well definitley CYBER_SELLING because I recently took a HUGE HEAVY STACK of books to the bookstore and they only gave me a BUCK TWENTY-FIVE for all of it, RRRRRR!
Did I mention I could really use some cash? So like a certain mystery lady once said: "WHERE'S ALL THE MONEY?"
ALSO as a guy's shirt I saw in the CZECH republic said "WHERE'S THE FUCKING MONEY YOU OWE ME?"
This last bit only applies to some of you personally but remember: THE SPIRITUAL QUEST IS UNIVERSAL

kojak

LOST AND FOUND

now that the irritable ROCKIO seems to have DISAPPEARED, it feels safe to COME OUT AND BLOG AGAIN! and what BETTER DAY to blog than today? this morning I WAKE UP and walk outside to get nearly BLOWN AWAY by the gusty winds off the hudson! being LATE already, I decided it would be BEST to BUST IT IN A CAB to work. I sat down in the cab, and a MINUTE LATER realized I was VERY UNCOMFORTABLE because there was a LUMP BENEATH MY BUTT on the seat! lo and behold, there lay a SHINY FANCY-PANTS MOTOROLA FLIP PHONE that appeared as if OUT OF NOWHERE. my first instinct was to open it to see WHAT CARRIER IT WAS FROM. don't really know why. then I thought, if I leave the phone in the cab, the cab driver will probably HAWK IT ON EBAY. so that left the question of HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO FIND THE OWNER OF THIS PHONE?

I devised a mean strategy of ANSWERING THIS PERSON'S PHONE CALLS for the next half hour. each time I gave the caller a very JUMBLED EXPLANATION of what was GOING ON. luckily, after a bit the phone's owner FINALLY REALIZED he LOST HIS PHONE and called. his name was B and somehow he came off like a WALL STREET TYPE (in reference to logan's previous post). alas! my hunch was correct! B *IS* a WALL STREET TYPE.

TO KEEP AN UNNECESSARILY LONG story just as long, B and I decided to meet outside my workplace after HIS WALL STREET MEETING. he called my cell, and I stood OUTSIDE looking at every WALL STREET TYPE that approached. ONCE I even pointed at some guy and held up the phone, but it wasn't B so I felt PRETTY STUPID. finally, B and his COHORT arrived. he dressed all SHARP and was FRESH FROM A MEETING. he and his cohort were VERY PLEASED to have regained his FANCY-PANTS phone, and I was PLEASED to have been of service. B asked me if he could give me some COLD HARD CASH as a thank you, but I REPEATEDLY said NO until he put his WAD OF CASH back into his SUIT.

my only regret from this experience was that I NEGLECTED TO PITCH him on PORTING OVER TO my cell phone company, which is BETTER THAN THE ONE HE USES.

-intoccabile

Recount but NOT LIKE florida

Before things are erased from my mind BY THE SANDS OF TIME, I would like to tell you some news about PARIS. As cool as you mite think it is THE SUBWAYS or THE METRO as I personally like to call (me and about 5 million of my FRENCH COUNTRYMEN ha ha ha ha !!) shuts its doors to the world and 1AM sharp.

Now living in THE GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD - NEw york. one does not encounter such inconveniences. Needless to say as a "Yankee" I was thrown into a mess of turmoil by this situaiont.

Basically What it boiled down to was the FOLLOWING SCENARIO.

Enter rocky, chinese dude, and group of french old dudes. We all sit there for QUITE A WHILE. and then! 3 trains pass on the other side and none come on our side. NOW mind yuou this is after I went way out on some wierd metro line try8ing to find my way thru the NETWORK OF TWISETED EVIL SPIDERWEBS THAT IS THE PARISIOAN UNDERGROUND! :) ---<

Ok next moment in our story: Old french dudes get up and walk away past me and the CHINESE DUDE who is looking at a map FURIOULSY. and i say to then "se termine?" and they were like YES ITS DONE, undoubtably grieving the day there country gave our country LLADY LIEBERTY on account of my bad accent.

then i get above ground and that chinese dude wasw looking around and i just went up to him and said BLA BLA and that turned into a 2 or 3 hour adventure of us trying to find a bus and then walk and a cab OH LORD. Needless to say our Cooperation will PAVE THE WAY for CHINESE_AMERICAN trade negotiations in the future

AND ONCE AGAIN I AM PROUD TO BE A PART OF HISTORY.

ROCKY

BARELY EXSCAPED FRANCE WITH MY FREAKING LIFE

Well according to the customs agent at JFK _ ugliest airport in the UNIVERSE, I AM BACK IN THE US. and at LEAST every0one understands me here. well now that everything is bak to normal i think rsbfart will have a resurgence of positive FORCES after its DARK PERIOD.

I am working on Feng shui again for my room. (IF YOU CAN"T TELL) I am all about POSITIVE FORCES. Additional news: I have a peice of FRENCH BREAD that I smuggled past the security airport dudes, risking MY VERY LIFE TO bring you delicious cuisine from FRANCE: the country that gave us the STATUE of LIBERTY.

although if you asked a normal frenchy lay-person to tell you how to say LIBERTY upon reading it they would probably say LIEBERTY -

which is kind of true lies lies lies MAKE SURE YOU VOTE

rockY POLITICIZED