the NEW YORKER COPIES RSBFARTS STYLE!

you know you've made it in the world when THE NEW YORKER copies your style! Here is a quote from a recent review of "The Village" by Anthony Lane

...the villagers are told by their elders not to venture outside of town because of the HUGE SCARY MONTSERS IN THE WOODS."

No if thats not copying a patented style i don't know what is, which is why we really need to put our heads together and get this 3rd Case going. small letters CAPITAL LETTERS SuPeR CaSe

See i don't even KNOW how to write it

rocky

GIVE IT AWAY NOW

OK everyone I just realized this is VERSION 2 of the random sketchty brainfart blog so I'm gonna lay down a little bit of the NEW PHILOSOPHY AROUND TOWN.

Excuse me for quoting FLEA in the title of this piece but recently I've been on a MINIMALIST KICK all about getting rid of possessions.

Here's a funny joke with PROFOUND PURPOSE: "Why couldn't the Buddha vacuum the corner of his room????????????"
ANSWER: " Because he didn't haven't any ATTATCHMENTS" !!!!

For those who didn't take intro to Buddhism at college let me tell you that means he didn't have many possessions AND OF COURSE IT WAS WAY BETTER THAT WAY.

So basically I'm selling my car and whole bunch of stuff. (((ONLINE OF COURSE))))
Well definitley CYBER_SELLING because I recently took a HUGE HEAVY STACK of books to the bookstore and they only gave me a BUCK TWENTY-FIVE for all of it, RRRRRR!
Did I mention I could really use some cash? So like a certain mystery lady once said: "WHERE'S ALL THE MONEY?"
ALSO as a guy's shirt I saw in the CZECH republic said "WHERE'S THE FUCKING MONEY YOU OWE ME?"
This last bit only applies to some of you personally but remember: THE SPIRITUAL QUEST IS UNIVERSAL

kojak

LOST AND FOUND

now that the irritable ROCKIO seems to have DISAPPEARED, it feels safe to COME OUT AND BLOG AGAIN! and what BETTER DAY to blog than today? this morning I WAKE UP and walk outside to get nearly BLOWN AWAY by the gusty winds off the hudson! being LATE already, I decided it would be BEST to BUST IT IN A CAB to work. I sat down in the cab, and a MINUTE LATER realized I was VERY UNCOMFORTABLE because there was a LUMP BENEATH MY BUTT on the seat! lo and behold, there lay a SHINY FANCY-PANTS MOTOROLA FLIP PHONE that appeared as if OUT OF NOWHERE. my first instinct was to open it to see WHAT CARRIER IT WAS FROM. don't really know why. then I thought, if I leave the phone in the cab, the cab driver will probably HAWK IT ON EBAY. so that left the question of HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO FIND THE OWNER OF THIS PHONE?

I devised a mean strategy of ANSWERING THIS PERSON'S PHONE CALLS for the next half hour. each time I gave the caller a very JUMBLED EXPLANATION of what was GOING ON. luckily, after a bit the phone's owner FINALLY REALIZED he LOST HIS PHONE and called. his name was B and somehow he came off like a WALL STREET TYPE (in reference to logan's previous post). alas! my hunch was correct! B *IS* a WALL STREET TYPE.

TO KEEP AN UNNECESSARILY LONG story just as long, B and I decided to meet outside my workplace after HIS WALL STREET MEETING. he called my cell, and I stood OUTSIDE looking at every WALL STREET TYPE that approached. ONCE I even pointed at some guy and held up the phone, but it wasn't B so I felt PRETTY STUPID. finally, B and his COHORT arrived. he dressed all SHARP and was FRESH FROM A MEETING. he and his cohort were VERY PLEASED to have regained his FANCY-PANTS phone, and I was PLEASED to have been of service. B asked me if he could give me some COLD HARD CASH as a thank you, but I REPEATEDLY said NO until he put his WAD OF CASH back into his SUIT.

my only regret from this experience was that I NEGLECTED TO PITCH him on PORTING OVER TO my cell phone company, which is BETTER THAN THE ONE HE USES.

-intoccabile

Recount but NOT LIKE florida

Before things are erased from my mind BY THE SANDS OF TIME, I would like to tell you some news about PARIS. As cool as you mite think it is THE SUBWAYS or THE METRO as I personally like to call (me and about 5 million of my FRENCH COUNTRYMEN ha ha ha ha !!) shuts its doors to the world and 1AM sharp.

Now living in THE GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD - NEw york. one does not encounter such inconveniences. Needless to say as a "Yankee" I was thrown into a mess of turmoil by this situaiont.

Basically What it boiled down to was the FOLLOWING SCENARIO.

Enter rocky, chinese dude, and group of french old dudes. We all sit there for QUITE A WHILE. and then! 3 trains pass on the other side and none come on our side. NOW mind yuou this is after I went way out on some wierd metro line try8ing to find my way thru the NETWORK OF TWISETED EVIL SPIDERWEBS THAT IS THE PARISIOAN UNDERGROUND! :) ---<

Ok next moment in our story: Old french dudes get up and walk away past me and the CHINESE DUDE who is looking at a map FURIOULSY. and i say to then "se termine?" and they were like YES ITS DONE, undoubtably grieving the day there country gave our country LLADY LIEBERTY on account of my bad accent.

then i get above ground and that chinese dude wasw looking around and i just went up to him and said BLA BLA and that turned into a 2 or 3 hour adventure of us trying to find a bus and then walk and a cab OH LORD. Needless to say our Cooperation will PAVE THE WAY for CHINESE_AMERICAN trade negotiations in the future

AND ONCE AGAIN I AM PROUD TO BE A PART OF HISTORY.

ROCKY

BARELY EXSCAPED FRANCE WITH MY FREAKING LIFE

Well according to the customs agent at JFK _ ugliest airport in the UNIVERSE, I AM BACK IN THE US. and at LEAST every0one understands me here. well now that everything is bak to normal i think rsbfart will have a resurgence of positive FORCES after its DARK PERIOD.

I am working on Feng shui again for my room. (IF YOU CAN"T TELL) I am all about POSITIVE FORCES. Additional news: I have a peice of FRENCH BREAD that I smuggled past the security airport dudes, risking MY VERY LIFE TO bring you delicious cuisine from FRANCE: the country that gave us the STATUE of LIBERTY.

although if you asked a normal frenchy lay-person to tell you how to say LIBERTY upon reading it they would probably say LIEBERTY -

which is kind of true lies lies lies MAKE SURE YOU VOTE

rockY POLITICIZED

FREaKIN''' A Y'alllll

Yeah that ROCKIO is a bit of an A-HIZ-OLE but in a waay he's got a point.

I know the crew has been WORLD TRAVELLING like crazy so it can be difficult to blog.
Like CYBERSPACE is totally amazing and ALL About BLlowing up the SPOT EVERYWHERE although at times a computer can be hard to find. That reminds me of this one MICROSOFT ad where a bunch of more low-tech type people in a an AFRICAN VILLAGE get a computer and they all crowd around and there so happy because they can check out the WWW!!!

So basically what I'm saying is that RSBF could very well be reaching these type of LESS EDUCATED people and teaching them about the AMERICA and other places we go. ( I would like to add the at those people should KEEP PAYING ATTENTION)

On the subject of REDISCOVERING THE RANDOMNESS I would like to say that I waas recently in NYC and I ran into all sorts of AWESOME PEOPLE in a totally random fashion. For example, a certain memeber of the RSBF crew who is among the most ELUSIVE was spotting on a certain avenue in brooklyn with a certain boyfriend who I hadn't seen in forever!!!
Also, I real good friend of mine waS comlpetely randomlly in town after driving all the way from FREAKIN COLORADO.
This guy was part of a previous crew of mine called the KUHLI LOACH MEN that was as renowned as RSBF in the days before CYBERSPACE. Also, his brother was there: also a KUHLI LOACH MAN and a great dude I hadn't seen in even LONGER!!

So, I inclusion thats just a short SYNOPSIS of the TYPE of thing RSBF IS all about - so there rockio


--kojak 2004--------

paris is gay but not necessarily '4 gay peopple

whats up yall in paris here reporting 4 duty. i think i saw the communist pqrty headqurters today. they qlso hqve q werid habit of putting the q where the a should be here. btw that rockio is a real asshole huh. we should kik his qss

rocky

ROCKIO IS BECOMING ENRAGED OLD TESTAMENT STYLE

ROCKIO (rocky's evil brother:me) IS BECOMING ENRAGED AT THE LACK OF POSTINGS. I FEAR A TERRIBLE FATE FOR RSBFART. LIGHTNING AND FLASHES MAY RAIN DOWN UPON WHAT WAS ONCE A BEAUTIFUL AND UTOPIAN LIKE ATMOSPHERE.

ITS GOING TO BE SOME NOAH'S ARK TYPE SHI*&^T. SOMEONE BETTER SHOW THAT THEY CARE OR RSBFART IS GOING TO BE EXPLODING IN A BALL OF FLASHES.

RSBFART WAS FOUNDED IN AN ATMOSPHERE OF THE FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION AND THE CONTRIBUTIONS BY THE COMMON MAN AND WOMAN TO THE CANNON OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION. DON'T IGNORE THIS WARNING LEST YE BE EXPOSED TO MANY FLASHES OF LIGHTE. MAY YE POSTERS OF RSBFART HEED MY WORD LEST THE ENTIRETY OF RSBFART FLASH AWAY TO HISSSSTORY

ROCKIO

WTF happened?

wtf happened to rsbfart? WHERE IS THE LOVE. Please People show your love in YOUR HEARTS by posting on this blog. OTHERWISE A TERRIBLE FATE WILL BEFALL YOU

ROCKIO

BIZZY like a BEE yo

I am Bizzy like aBee yo. Thats why u may have noticed that I didn't Lay down a dope blog recently. Well rest assured I didn't forget about RSBFART, I just neglected it HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AH AHAHAHAHAHJ^&$#*(^&*#$^(&

Just kidding ha ha. No really just kidding. But seriously folks whats up with all the haite mail i get these days: Here is a sample:

ROCKY WHY DON'T YOU USE ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME, I CAN BARELY READ THE WISHY WASHY CR(*&*&P YOU PUT UP THESE DAYS.
----SINGED A CONCERNED PARTY...

here is another one.

Dear rocky,

Whats up with you? Your alwasys doin all this talkin and you better step up to the plate YO.


JUST KIDDING AGIAN - those were FAKE letters - JUST VOICES FROM MY SUBCONCIOUS!!! HA HA&U$*(#&U*$#&*

rocky

change of the seasons~MYSTERY OF NATURE

whats up everyone???!!!??
If you haven't heard from DA CREW recently it probably beacuse we just had a MEGA-GET-TOGETHER at a secluded country house where we BLEW OFF SOME MAJOR STEAM. WE took a break from the blogging although some major BRAINFARTS did occur live in person. ALSO, we bought some totally random stuff at a garage sale::::
I got a badass drum machine, rocky got a rad elephant pin, the mystery lady was sporting some MOOSE EARS, and intoccabile was just like: "WHATEVER DUDES THAT"S SO RANDOM"

OKAY so one thing I've thought of lately are some unsolved MYSTERIES of summer that I've once again not solved this year. really its all about what types of food and drink are good for HEATING OR COOLING OFF YOUR BODY in the hot weather. All this then changes around in the COLD weather and perhaps, LIKE ME, your left wondering STILL.

So one major controversy is ICE POPS VS< HOT CHOCOLATE on a hot day. The smart ALEC always says hot chocolate will make you feel cooler but once again NO ONE has proven this too me this summer. From hear you can get into SPICY FOODS, like if eating a HABENERO will cool you off like in MEXICO. I'm not sure about this one either, but perhaps a SPICY ICE POP would offer the best of both worlds.

I'm gonna try and figure this out during INDIAN SUMMER ........

............Kojak*********∆∆∆∆∆∆¥¥¥¥¥˚˚˚˚˚˚¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

Laverne and SHirley type SH**T

YO!~

Did you ever want to WORK AT A FACTORY??? BBOOOOOYA!!!! I was working in an "assembly line" type situation today and yesterday. It was all about STAMPIN and STICKIN and LICKIN. thats what I'm talkin about!!

I like the factory situaition because, while your hands may be a workin, your mouth can be a flappin, and you MIND can be wandering free!! ABSOLUTE FREEDOM DE LA MENTE! maybe this is what marx was talking about when he said that "FACTORIES TOTALLY RULE"

I don't know about you, but i got a 5 day Ki**K A"S weekend comin up. Tadao, as soon as I step out of this factory I'm a gonna bust foot loose like the longest weekend you ever imagined when you WENT TO SKOOL. Its called a 5 day weekend!!! Holy lord what am I going to do with all of that time? :)--l---<

On a more philosophical note: I WONDER WHAT KOJAK IS DOING IN EASTERN EUROPE???
here is my wise advise for the day: "Treasure the Moments of Freedom and Disrespect the MoMents of Servitude"

r_o__c___k____y