Sample Birthday Email

SUBJ: Happy Birthday, etc!
FROM: Kojak
ATTACH: ?

Hi Rocky!
I Hope you are having a great birthday! Are you still in el nuevo mexico? I bet you have gotten lots of great presents with Christmas and now the b-day too! I just got back from the Midwest and had a pretty random photo shoot with my lady friend yesterday. It was a "bonus" for buying some wedding photography where they took some emotional "couple" shots. It was really too much and I had to sit on some cold concrete for a staged shot and today by bum is sore :) ! Well that's enough about me let me once again wish you a great day, have fun!
-Kojak

The Elements of Style

I have just read a little book that seems to FLY in the FACE of all that we stand for here at Random Sketchy Brainfart. However I did find it quite helpful to read for other writing actions. It is called the ELEMENTZ of STYLE by Strunk and White. What I was thinking was this can we propose some rules to how to work with email writing to make a new instructional writing guideline? For example how quickly should responses be given? Are paragraphs useful? and how about signing your name? I would like to propose a new project of RSBF if anyone has any "LITTLE GEMS" that they use with their email writing just tag your entry: email
Rocky

consolation beer

xmas is coming and the calendar is almost empty. todays agenda includes a "beer" with a once potential coworker who wants to explain to me WHY I DID NOT GET THE JOB in spite of rocking the interview in my humble opinion. I have no idea what excuses they come with but who knows we will see. I really don;t even think I care but I do like beer so I figure what the heck I will hear the dude out.

With work so hard to come by here is what I have been doing to keep the mind fresh: GO
Not the verb but the East Asian board game of position a la sun tzu's ART OF WAR. Cermak and I have been practicing = hours and hours of endless go ~ we ain't no grand masters but we are building the skills and flexing the mind. And if a war does go down you better watch out because we will have the tactics (KOJAK)

Time Time Time is long

Hi. Its been a long time. In fact I think its been THE LONGEST TIME EVER WITHOUT POST SINCE 2004. So accordingly I have been reading a book entitled chronophobia. Seraiously I did, but all jokes aside, lets get down to our Business transaction. I live by a park now. The squirrel life is thriving there and PERHAPS it is a little TOO thriving. Because often times The squirrels are the only things I sea there. Of course there are also and these but the sqireels. Are HORDING NUTS and freaking out. Its a little bit scary cuz they are so TWITCHY. thats the Nature report for GRNPPOINT borkkklyn...RO

internets gift wishes

have you ever made a "HOLiday gifts list" using the internets? SOmething about this whole process seems a bit unsavory to me. People want to get you stuff so you try to give them some help and maybe even a hyperlink to something but I don't know I just struggle with that.....

In other news I've heard rumors about so-called moral aquarium and might want to see some of that here....................... kojak

The strength of masking tape

I have been involved in a major arts and crafts kind of project in the past couple weeks and I have formed some opinions about TAPE. Sticky tape that is. First of all packing tape is pretty much crap. It should just be used for packing, but then it becomes to hard to pull off, but in any other situation it just falls off after a week. Then we have our GORILLA black tape, kind of a beefed up DUCK tape. and it works good but not so hot when you are trying to tape to COLD STEEL or COLD GLASS and there is moisture around. In fact NO TApe will stick to this, its like trying to stick something that is not sticky, the tape just peels right off, its like mo slippery than teflon. So I busted out what I thought would be the mother of ALL TAPES GAFFERS or filmaking lighters tape and its sick cloth strenght I thoguoht would surmount the situation and yet NO, it did not. just fell off the wall. Wack.

Anyway the one tape that has left me with a positive feeling is MAsking tape, I like the matte surface, the natural smell, the fact that yes it sticks and holds the sstick right well when dealing with fabric and paper and maybe evensome other stuff, andyeah its not the STRONGEST but it does not have pretentions and it does its job.. even better than you thought it might,
Masking tape, the cadillac of automobiles
Rocky

computador historico

no this whole post will not be en espanol. We would not want to confuse the readership. There are 2 interrelated topics of conversation: the golden age of blogs and also printers love them or leave them.

on the golden age of blogs, this has to do with comments . Does it resemble a conversation or a shouting match? The only way to avoid the latter is to not get too "muy popular" so that people want to shout you down. Luckily we keep it real chill here at RSBf and no one tries to act all cool and get attention in the comments section.

re: printers I;m generally opposed to setting one up at home except now I have no workplace to print so I gave it a shot. I thought hey this could be real cool to print stuff and move seamlessly between virtual and bricks n mortar realms but the only problem is I think the ink is BAD EG INVISIBLE INK

--brought to you by kojak AKA JUAN COMPUTADOR

chea p

I have a new Deli in town. Its in Bedsty where I have been working. I have been there 2x and the Prices? The Prices are the Best In Town. IN FACT I CHALLENGE ANY TOWN IN AMERICA to challenge the prices at my new little deli. Let me give you a little break down of what I got

Day 1: Toasted Cinnamon Raisn bagel with Creamcheese, Small coffe with milk===== $2
Day 2: Toasted Cinnamon Raisn bagel again with the creemchese, Small tea, 17.5 ounce Nantucket Nectar orange mango juice =======$3

is someone making mistakes? OR IS THIS THE CHEAPEST BREAKFAST NORTH OF the.. Mississippi?
Rocky

addendum: they added sugar to my tea. YUCK. minyus points

rice in a sandwich?

indeed. I just ate one. So What about that? Perhaps yuou remember such other meals featuring much starch such as Pasta topped Pizza. Rice in a Sandwich gets you the starchy goodness of Bread and OF, You guessed it: RICE.
Ro_CK_y clickclocky

Shout out to MCMC

nerds .......I've been reminded in the past few weeks about some of the qualities of nerds for example I happened upon a

Creative Reenactment type battle on a university lawn which was like a stars wars kid (tm) type duel amongst nerds, now I'm not saying that was cool;

But on the "cool" I have to give a shout out to a statistics expert who CLAIMS THE RAPPER ALIAS "MCMC" which I had to look up online because I couldn't find my class notes.

"Markov chain Monte Carlo (MCMC) methods (which include random walk Monte Carlo methods), are a class of algorithms for sampling from probability distributions based on constructing a Markov chain that has the desired distribution as its equilibrium distribution. The state of the chain after a large number of steps is then used as a sample from the desired distribution. The quality of the sample improves as a function of the number of steps"

So I guess MCMC could bust out all those skills kinda like a certain MC formerly known as "ALLAH MATHEMATICS" if you know what I'm sayin (kojak)

life question

What percent of people practice "Indoor Voices" in today's society?

• does it vary from place to place?
• what will it be like in the future?

kojak

Best way to stir

here is a hint for all you out there. When you stir (milk into coffee) this is what i do. Stir two rotations one way, then you switch it up! and stir the other way. that really mixes it up.
Yours,
RoCKY

Gam bling

So. I learned how to play poker recently and it was fun, waht was partially fun is that there was a a dealer and her name was holly and she had "ATTITUDE " like insulting, for example it was like she worked at ED debevics. and i didn't realy make $ in fact I lost money. But only about HAlf of my money in the end=30bx. and I learned how to play, a little bit. But not that well.This game is really about betting.. you see, and i don't do that that much,but I think people who like monopoly might be into it. I had my PO PO PO Poker face on though i tell you: no emotions. This happened in Atlantic City, or baby vegas. It is amazing how much $$$$$ gets spent mad quick • I saw a guy who Prob lost 500 bux in 60 seconds trying to play 110 dollars craps by himself. ouch dude
Rocky

Love

Can I just tell you something? I love RSBfart more than Fbook

listened to some rap music

I was listening to some of the "urban" music known as hip hop and was reminded of good times when I was younger and was a "straight up listener" of this type of thing . BY straight up I mean hearing a good "Disc Jockey" not like buying CD's at walmart* or watching MTV cribs. Theres a new DJ on our radio here who fits the bill...kind of like a touch down in chi-town but on a local level. It was a good feeling and a positive vibe for sunday night and I will just leave it on that note...kojak

THE COLD

It is starting to get cold? Can you beleive it. I wanted it to be hot hot hot. the hot weather never bothers me. Its great. I like it steamy steamy and SUPER HOT TEMP. thats what I love! Give me 105 everyday. But Yuck this cold stufff? NO SIREEE BOB. Not for me> I need it hot, and I don't want to wear those fall fashions. Heck no. I fact... uh I forgot what I was talking about. Oh yeah well I like it to be coool one day but then lets get back to this hot stuff. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM SAYING. Can we not slow down the clock a little bit. Would that be ok. Great. Thanks. PS CAN YOU TELL ANY IRONY in what I am saying. Or not? That is the in the teenage Spirit. Irony and non irony have MEldedD???????$*&$*$ roccy

Toast, ruined

I was making toast. I have to put my toaster in my room cuz it has a short short cord. and I can't put it in the kitchen becuase it might fall in teh sink and ELECTROCUTE. So there i was making tost in my room, soon to put cream cheese on it. But then a dance number started. and it got rowdy with dancing. SUDDENLY a Plant GOT KNCOKCED. woops and a LEAF flew into the air. HIG H HIGH into the air. The leaf fell down down down and landed IN the toaster. In fact it lodged into the side, somehow behind the electric things that heat up. The chances of this happening are .. lets just say INFINITY to one. One chance in a million. It was the chance of a lifetime and my Leaf got singed and Tost basically ruined with burned leaf flavor
Rocky

traded computer for walkman(TM)

How many computers does that average households have ?? = many because people never get rid of them even though its obvious they will not be used.


In an effort to be unlike other people I decided to get rid of my old laptop - I have a lot of fond memories of it but sometimes you just have to CUT THE STRINGS clean break like...not wanting to bother with selling crap on the internet that doesn't work very well (that is a highly lamentable industry of our time) I took it to a drop off where they "E-CYCLE" computers like what almost happend to JOhnny5 in the movie. It turned out to be more emotional than expected just like in the movie.

part 2: i wanted to get a walkman to listen to this tape that teaches espanol . it just so happens that ECYCLE is at goodwill industries so I went in and found a sweet old true WALKMAN (no knock off) and even some batteries to test it with . How ironic I though to trade a semi modern latop for a walkman! Well heres the real irony when I got the walkman home after a longish bike ride it made the awful high pitched sound when I tried to use it. Pasha the cat was frighted bad by it thats how bad it is!! And I bet some goodwill employee snatched the laptop and is trying to hack into it to steal me identity which was presisely what I wanted to avoid (KOJAK)

plaguiraism

someone said the cure for writers block is to borrow extensively from others. Here is something a high school acquaintance posted on a social networking site:
"

A teenage boy just told me he was gonna whoop my ass! Then he attempted to before he was stopped! I just gotta laugh at it. No further comments. LmAo

"
brought to you by kojak aka juan computador

Hi quality Conversation in Mailbox office

Here is a community where someone asked me where I got my jacket and another person lent me a pen and then complained about the post office. This is where it all comes together people. and I just love my Post Office in fact I think other people love it too. Just got to love that post office. Do you Know What I Mean. Plus you can see I abandoned my month long blogathon. Maybe next month....... Rocky Rocky Bo Bocky Banana Fanna Fo Fockey

BEFORD STUYVS

want to hear somthing cool- I commute to bedstuy this week for work. RRROROROROROROR.

Fail Fail FAIL

10 I failed by 2 days of not posting a blog. DAYS 8 and 9 are gone never to be remembered. Sad Sad Sad. Today it is lightly sprinkling. Haiku

Sprinkle why are you
Sprinkletastic? I wonder
Could you Sprinkle us?

ROvk

gloves and shorts

since rocky had a more consequential post today about life in the BIG BAD CITY allow me to provide the MINUTIA ....I soaked my work gloves in woollite - they get really stinky when the weather is warm. So that 's something I'm really looking forward to 2moorrow (canadian transliteration).....nice clean gloves that don't stink. Ironically today I was wearing a very preppy style with some light colored shorts and a navy polo. Not intentional but something that just randomly formed as I was getting dressed. That really has nothing to do with stinky work gloves but that is the contradictions of my life in the present (KOJAK)

Train Dude

7 Today I got a strange vibe from a guy in the subway. This guy had his backpack sitting on the seat and the train was totally crowded. I stepped in next to him and he looked at me like WHAT. Basically he was very ready to say "Do you have a problem with my bag taking up a seat?" So this guy ( he is standing) and his bag is sitting. and I am standing next to him is simply daring me to look at him funny with this train insanely crowded. But I am pretty zen cuz I am happy to just be on this air conditioned train. So I use my skilss of diffusion like looking the other way and not making eye contact, and I just don't care man.

ANYWAY we get out of the train at UNION SQ and (togehter) and the rush of people going up a tiny stair way and we are still nearby and start going up the stairs and He just STOPS and lets me go first NOT in a nice way but like. "Oh you want to step in front of me, you think your better" He give me a FEIRCE LOOK again, and I just deflect by pretending to look the other way( this was ninja, I know i am not descriving my d=ninja ways good but it was...) Beleive me now you think I am exaggerating and making things up about this guy trying to get me. But Here is teh end of the story. A few moments later I hear shouting and YELLING and I look back and here is the BRISTLY FELLOW in a headlock and another short muscular dude had him in this headlock and was YELLLING RELAX RELX RELAX RELAX, while my bristly friend struggle like a weenie. This goes to show you I PIKKED UP ON the vibes and this fool wanted to fight. He was lookin for a fight and unforch he piccked the wrong dude to mess with cuz this little dude leveraged his a**
R

Hot Cats 6

It is hot and my cat just sits in the sun. Does she not understand that she is black and that magnafies the heat? its strange. Last night it was cooler outside but when I walked in to GirlFriends aparment it was BLASTING WITH HEAT I am tellin you it felt like the OVEN and Heater was on. And what is more she has a cat for a while and this cat likes to snuggle up close to and sleep next to your neck. Cute but in this heat. Not sure about that. Rocky

CInco THE 5 SPOT. u CANT TUCH THE CHIKN PATTYIES

For real. now that I am VEGETAARIAN@@@ I eat mad Chickenspatties (FAKE CHIZNIKNS) We have a Dish called
FIESTA CHICKEN BOWL!!
-rice, beans, salsa(tomato onion a little vinegar and HOT PEPERS) and Grated CHEEAZ and of course Chik Pattties
and now a new Sandwich whihc NEEDS A NAME>>>>>>()()()()(hin hint
-pita pocket, sauteed shrooms and garlick, hoomoos, CHKKKK patties and Again with the Tomatoe salsoa. It tastes better than real chicken. Relay
Rocky

a treatise on nature

I'm happy to report that I have accomplished a goal I've been working on for a while. Well I don;t quite like the word ""accomplish"" and """goal"""because I believe it is an ongoing project. The basic premise is to go from city to nature without a car. Rocky touched on this with the hal project not too long ago. If nature can walk in to the city uninvited then why not vice versa?

Well this specific thing was camping with bike. Cermak and I got geared up with Northwest® type gear like nice bikes paniers (peas and cheese) and the tent and some good food. We rode the bus to near the end of the line utlilizing the bike racks but having to unload the gear. Then geared up and rode to the ferry - cruised over to the I-land for a nice ride onto the campsite. The campfire was the bomb luckily there was wood at the state park for sale cuz we couldn't have loaded that on the bike rack. Attractions included an ancient cedar and a beach . Fauna included a very loud OWL in the middle of the night and BANDITOS (what I like to call small critters who scurry around a campsite eating your breadcrumbs)

Day 4 Trash

•ªªºª∞¢¢¡™
©††§¶ººª•∫
ºπø¬˚µ˜––
ªº•¶©√∫∂˙

Does anyone know what the hell this says?ICan't read it.
PS HELOO??????E?E?E?E?E?E
Rokcuy

3rd I fell down

yesterday I tried to do a dance on front of a window to a resteraunt to entirtain the people and I FELL DOWN HAARD. on the concrete.
_rokcy
Oh AND I LEAREND THAT IN CANADA THEY HAVE ANOTHER WORD THAT IS A TRANALATION TO SKETCHY its called SKIDLY. have you heard of this imagine if our Canadaian bretheren and sisters started a new ONILNE JOURNAL called Random SKiDLEY bF

Day Two: A dream

I dreamed that the end of the world was happening. I think it involved a flood and or fire and upheaval of governments. But the idea was that we were, this time, truly f*¶•ed. I was with a small group of people a cross section of humanity and my woman-friend with me. And it was like the movie where a certain group of people has got stuck in an elevator, some people have some ideas ad others have others. We were trying to figure out what to do, where to go to be safe from the unstoppable danger everywhere. I blurted out that maybe we should go to the Natural History museum and I became giddy with that idea,like how COOL WOULD THAT BE? ] in the dream no one took me seriously, but................

now in retrospect I thihnk that it would be cool, for example, as an idea for a movie that a group of people is locked in the Natural history meusum which pressupooses to tell the entire history of the earth+ universe (there is a planetarium too) and that some how the museum did become hermetically sealed and perhaps they were able to extract seeds from some old indian "corn Maize" diorama and plant it in the sunny area after ripping up the floor to expose soil. They would be living in a kind of outdated history of earth, but then making it into the only current history of the earth (as everyone else.. I guess had died unfortunately) and maybe then there would develop different tribes for different wings of teh museum. Holy SH(t this is actuall another one of those ideas that is SO GOOD I am not sure I should publish it., but I will because I feel taht with this audience of RSBFFART the idea for film is safe and may even be nourished.
Yours Truful, Rocky

BLOG Experiment= Day UNO

Dear Readers,
This month, starting today Agust 14 2009 I am going to try a new "BLOGGING" Experiment, that is I will religiously post something everday for one (1) month even if my mind is utterly blank and like a pond whose waters a undisturbed by even the slightest ripple. I have learned that blogs will post 1x/ day or EVEN MORE so if anyone else wants to embark on this Random Experiment. Feel Free. We will give you the password to the blog and teh "KEYS to the KINGDON" -=-=-=-=__++__++_-Today I wil go to an acupuncturist and I hope that MY BUM FOOT might start to get the attention it rightfully deserves.

FEET

Do we really respect'em enough? I wonder in fact, we spend much time pounding them and they are our only connection to this green earth at most times of the day

FEET

we need them but do they need us??

FEET

Nothing is on their mind but REVENGE REVENGE REVENGE for maltreatment.
rocky

Acting resume

I am looking for some actors and the following "special skills' got my attention. Check it out

SPECIAL SKILLS
Long Distance Running
Can raise one eyebrow/bounce pectorals

Rocky

ITS TIME TO STOP LOSING AN D START WINNING

I am a tennis cahamping CHAMPION. and by that I mean I have been playing prettu good and winning and MY ATTITUDE IS CHANGED or ∆ed as i like say. AND THAT MEANS ITS TIME TO START WINNING NOT JUST IN TENNIS BUT IN LIFE IF HEVER I NEEDED MORE THAN CAPITAL LETTERS IT IS NOW BECAUSE I AM TRYING TO BE MOTIVATIONAL. SO LEUTIEOP ( 4 378HDUJLHU#*(* &*($HJVNNIOP LETS GET OUT THERE AND WIN TEAM WIN

a most uncomfortable situation

it's 5PM and 102 ø F - the all time highest ever recorded temperature in seatown. Would you want to go come to a sans-AC apartment? NO

Hackers

I saw the movie hackers the other nite and it was surprisinlgy good; What is interesting is that wen you have a movie that is based around action that happens online.. you have to make up random images to make it seem exciting. Because -what is exciting about numbers on the screen and TYPING FAST which iw awhat I am doing write now. What they did is show some random movie clips, I guess kind of pre- dating YOUTUBE, but it was more in the way of STOCK FOOTAge to simulate certain moments of excitiement. BUt then when you Get into the real Deal of HACKING TEH MAIN FRAME then y ou get many numbers Floating in THE Air and very bad Cheaesy dated Graphicsx. But they had to PICTURIZE CYBERSPACE somehow. Here is a bookwhich talks about Cyberspace as a Grid. But this movie ANYWAY was maade in 1995 and at that time the WORLD WIDE WEB was only 5 year old. Even tho the character of the movie was supposedly HACKING THE INTERNET (which is older) since the 80s. Anyway.
ROCKY COOL

straight up __________since day1

rode the light rail train system hear in Seatown this weekend..Was pretty sweet elevated like an "L" train in parts but downlow underground like an subway in others and also an on-street section in the vien of an oldfashioned trolley or modern European "Le Tramway" . More importantly it was a special free preview and I got a sticker that says "DAY ONE" on it along with some sweet graphics. Plus did I mention that the kids love it = a great way for the youth to get a more complete look at the city and maybe one day become expert analysts like rocky and kojak (myself)

PS why can't I find the fonts? I really wanted to drop some sweet webdings on this piece like a train symbol but I'll guess you'll have to visualize that yourself ˙¨¨ˆˆ¢§£•¶§∆˙∂∑∑ªøæπ

more on Kojak: Who is He?

Recently I was made witness to the new version of Kojak, Kojak Phd. We all know that Kojak has recently graduated to this status. But did you also know about his manly ability to build a fire pit and manage a fire? and even to tell untrained buskers to SHUT UP! because it is too late. this takes a real man and that is what Kojak is. As you can see he also likes walks on the beach, but ladies don't get your hopes up because he is TAKEN AND SPOKEN FOR (by Cermak.)
Rokcy

media blackout[[[[

haven't really been a "en ligne" too much lately partly because of observing a media blackout for watching le tour de france after the fact.

Ironically I did get a new compputer keyboard so you may notice a major improvement in my typeing skills ˚¥ˆ¨¥˙˚∆˙ˆ76WAM!

Some things I'm looking forward to include the train system opening here in Sea town this weekend. I should also mention that I enjoy long walks at sunset. That's all for now (kojak)

Version 11.9 OH MYn

Cat Barf. Its here its there ITS EVERYWHERE. Especially when its SPRING??? or is it just my cat that decided. HEY/ ITS TIME TO BARF and I just don't car. anyway. SHES BARFING. And poopoing on the chair. Its her special way of saying I DON"T LIKE DRY FOOD. I guess. that is my only Hypothesis. I know that cats like to eat Grass in the SPRING and BARF FOR FUN but she is an indoor cat, so...... I don't kknow..,....

R
R
R
R
R
R
Rokdy

Rated [D] for Dismissed

Some may beg to differ but i can honestly say that "Dogville" is the worst movie I have seen in recent memory. I rented it on a "two for one" whim and boy was that a mistake. I will keep this short. It is the antithesis of RSBFart, not forward thinking but 19th century style with pretentious British narrator and LITERALLY NO PROPS. I made it about 15 minutes in then skipped through some chapters to see if it was all really that wack and it was

kojak


PS here's a thought maybe version 11.9 should be

rated [R] Random: contains sketchy material and brainfart situations

June: Drearyville or "where's the beef, sir"

Its been a wet and cold June here in New York City, the "City of Angels". Despite all of the TALK about GLOBAL WARMING: where's the BEEF? as DAVE FOUNDER OF BIG MAC's would say. It's almost like living in a certain "northwest province" Called SEATTLE? HHHHHEEEEEEEELLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO? where indeed is the beef, as I also wondered as I bit into a "TOFU mixup empanada last night. I was hoping that they did not"insert the beef" into this sandwich, but it was a meaty taste, even though it was DOWHOO. And where is the Beef with the economy? they say its going up? Well wheres the money $$ that should be flowing in like a river of MOLTEN LAVA destroyiing everything in its path?., (WHERES THE F*%($*#KING MONEY YOU OWE ME?! isn't that a cool tshirt?)

And where's the beef with certain movies like ET which I saw again the other night and was CREEPED OUT BY ETs infantile and cat-like sounds. YUCK. DUDE. YUCK! and finally if you were a clover you might wonder: Where's the BEE? as you feel the spring time and want to pollinate stuff. and whats more if you were HAMLET: you might wonder WHERE's the 2BE or not 2 BE in your existential ponderings. AND FINALL Y if you were a teenage internet youser you might wonder where is the just plain "B" IE in a grade that you received or did not recieve from some messed up junior high science teacher:::: or alternatively where's the "B" in internet LOL type of abbreviation. Where's the B and WHAT DOES IT MEAN YET
ROKCKCYC

Newsflash from the subconsious mind

An important realization occurred to me while staring at the computer screen%(&*%^

I recalled a DREAM I had last night. It struck me out of the blue like a big time DEJA VU!! I had a vivid recollection of siting with my companion in a cafe wherein I noticed that the young woman was reading this very BLOG; RSBFart ! She was exploring discussing the world of Rocky and Kojak in a very passionate way with a friend. This gave an incredible feeling of wholesome fullfillment along the lines of a buddha's compassion....
At first I thought this actually happened yesterday but I have come to the conclusion that it was (ONLY?) a dream.Was this a vision of the future, past, alternate reality or just the id or ego?? What I cannot recall in this dream was the title of the new version 11.9 - I 'm sure its buried somewhere inside this vision but may need mind altering substatnce to be exracted. Or maybe rocky can meditate it to reality........kojak

Computing history

I have owned in my life 3 computers. The first i took to college. It was a PC. Then I checked in my baggage the first winter i went home and it shattered the screen and ruined it after a few months of use. So i swore of Computers for some years and just used the "computer Lab" (SHOUT out to KOJOAK what what?!?!) but then got into the industry which uses many compters and bought one from a co-worker. This was aprox 4-5 Years ago. And this is the subject of my story today: THE DEAD COMPUTER. Actually not SO dead cuz. I revitalized it by launching it onto ahost computer and so was able to get all MY STUFF (or am currently copyint my stuff with FINGERS XED). (There is even an imprtant folder called "Random and Sketchy". Anyway, so again I move to a new chapter of life where my old IDENTITY IS NO REFORMED BY A NEW PRODUCT. But one thing I never did do was get any more ipods after my monster 5gig one. ROCKY "nerd" DYNAMIC

relevance of "brainfart" confirmed

dear financial supporters of rsbfart,

let me share an anecdote which confirms the continued relevance of this blog in the current fiscal year.

I was at a chinatown lounge with a group of compadres and we were served cocktails by an inexperienced server. One of our party requested an "OLD-fashioned", that being his beverage of choice. Our served dissapeared to the bar area only to reappear and ask the following question (which i quote literally, EMPHASIS ADDED ) "Sorry guys, I just had a BRAINFART, can you remind me what is in an old fashioned?" end quote.

Thank you for your continued support, sincerely,

Kojak

Negative Hyperspace Blows the Mind

Mad Stress.

I feel like I have been running around like A chicken whose head got cut off. Tomorrow is a nite of performances I am putting together and let me tell you that there are many variables involved. One thing I learned is that it is important to eat, but very difficult to remember to do so. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! HSHSHSHS!! HAHAH!! HAHAHHHHAAAAAAHAHAHAH! Ah that felt good_
rocky

$elling out more difficult than expected

Was thinking about working for the man IE the government as a way to make some dough but that's really not going so well. I talked to some folks about gov't jobs but it really doesn't seem like they have anything for me********being an overeducated scholar*******culturally speaking the environment is sort of an ANATHEMA to a free ranging blogger such as myself. The government seems ideal for the sort of person whose ideal of style is wearing a big fat badge on a LARIAT over casual male shirt and slacks . So perhaps thats out ... there is a NYtimes article today about twittering your way to a job but that sounds bogus to me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,...kojak

Transnational meeting arrived at no conclusions

Recently a meeting was held in Washington Seattle between the founding members of RSBF dot com to decide if we should move forward with a MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR MERGER with MICROSOFT. or if conversely we should just buy microsoft OutRight. The Decision was reached that Microsoft was "not cool enough' to get into business dealings with and so as of now RSBFart.com,dude will remain a free entity.\Rocky

The dark Side of Life

Whats up. everyone. I have been recently made aware of the dark side of our lives. This would include the Garbage and Recycling industry, funeral mortuary homes, and horror movies, and worms and poop and lots of scary bugs. the questions is: Do we embrace this? Actually thats not the quesstion. But how do we deal with things like this. It seems clear that to just shove them to the background and forget them would be a temporary solution and they might come popping back out of the closet like a severed head. But say then if you "Embrace" them as I mentioned before you might fall into the darkness like Darth Vader or even a more realistic figure like Kurt Cobain. For example. Why are people interested in Putting dead human skulls on their desks. I would appreciate any comments or feedback. Thanks Rocky
note THE picture is the portal to the dark world in my bathroom whcih spraing a leek this week. Yay

Infinite possibilities of rearrangements

Here is a topic that never gets old in blogs or in real life. That is the topic of rearranging a living space to better suit your physical and emotional needs. A certain anonymous companion found it hard to believe that you can rearrange dorm room >10 times but in fact Rocky and I did just that and them some.

I interrrupt this broadcast with some breaking news : PASHA MY CAT IS LITERALLY BUGGIN OUT @ ! She is an indoor cat, former pet store queen , who has little experiece with nature. SHe 's now crying because she chased a fly around the room SMASHED it on the wall and doesn't understand why it won't move anymore....ISn't this an important stage in a every young being's development( when they learn MORTality and maybe even MORALITY - ok maybe not applicatble for cats) ?

Back to rearrangements , they took place big time yesterday in my apartment and where a big success. A more open feel for summer and the couch now at an angle to face a redwood tree outside instead of an apartment wall. by kojak

Brideshead "Revisted"

Recently my woman-friend came home with some materials lended to her by a friend. The materials were: 1 (one) novel "Brideshead Revisted" by Evelyn Waugh (a man), one (1) feature length movie: "Brideshead Revisted", 4 dvds comprising the box set of the television series "Brideshead Revisted".

My first thought is: what a bizarre name. The name implies that this might be a sequel so I was wondering if we were going to have to watch Brideshead, just "Brideshead" after all this. In fact no. This was just the real title. The story concerns a... well. Actually its really long and epic, so I can't say much about it here. Other than that there is a teddy bear called Alloicious that is in the TV series and not the movie. The other observation is that Brideshead is a huge huge huge palace that supposodley ( I know that is horribly misspelled, but I don't have time to go back and change it) this one single family lives in. The message of that last sentence was supposed to be that THEY USED THEY SAME HOUSE IN THE MOVIE AND THE TV SERIRES> SO IS IT A REAL HOUSE OR DID ONE JUST BITE THE OTHER ONE"S STYLE> STICK THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT.
Rokcy Dynamindc

Things that give me "Mixed Feelings"

Things that give me "Mixed Feelings"
1. The arial font
2. This is serious. Mockingbirds. I am by nature an animal and nature lover, yet the many sounds of mockingbirds are tumultuous to my ears, most especially when they occur in early morning hours. I admire the ability of these birds to mimic other species, but are they also not "Nature's Car Alarm" which will not be shut off, and screams out, pay attention to my infinite variation, I am truly a master of all voices?

3. Receiving free printers from people. I have befallen into this subtle trap many a time, and do not doubt that if you are a friend or acquaintance of mine and you have gifted me a printer I am surely grateful. And yet, let us look at this issue a little more deeply. Why, I wonder, was this printer being disposed of in the first place? Surely there was something at least remotely unsatisfactory about it. I have no printer, yet who is to say that this particular printer will make my life better. If I am made to believe that "it functions just fine, it may just need some ink" I will avoid its use until a key moment, when rushing out the door, I need it to work. And lo it does not work even after many downloading of drivers, various USB type cables and a multitude of efforts and high emotions exuding from me

4. Twitter. I joined this, and... I think the thing is about these 'social networks' is that by agreeing to take part you are agreeing to split your self into different pieces. Twitter makes this especially evident in that it eternally poses the question: "What are you doing?". Obviously if you answer the question you cannot be doing anything but typing, unless you are en route somewhere and still able to mobiley access, but still, you are typing. So if you answer the question you are implicitly lying. The eternal question becomes rhetorical and it must be replaced with answers to "What have you done? What will you do? Or more accurately, What do you think? These answers are then pasted into a history. It is understood that this history reflects at best tangential and limited tidbits from your life, but it still forms a picture of your identity. There are those who post only helpful links, those whose personality whims reign supreme etc. Each person must adopt a philosophy of self-representation in response to the ever looming anti-question "Why should we care?" And yet there is some sort of potential for unregulated discemination of information that seems good there too..

MIXED FEELINGS
Rocky Dynamic

it doesn;t matter how often we post

'cuz you're either with us or against us at this point. This is not a blog that is looking for short term hype "WE AINT TRYIN TO HOP IN AND HOP OUT , KNOW"W"IM"SAYIN***LONGEVITY**WORD" If all my post are getting too META well too bad beacuse that is just the plane I"M On right now . IT:s all about reflection and not too much about bricks and mortar phenomena for the time being (Maybe nexttime)

That said I would like to note the passing of a blog that is close to my heart. Being EASTERN in stlye means they stay closer to buddhas word about not being PERMANENT with these final words. As for the truths impermance, it is not yet clear if they apply to this blog ^(*&^I'll get back to you on that
kojak

Today is truly the day of a new era

Dear World, While you are reading this it will already have happened. I commited Friendster suicide. Don't woryy. My personal physical body are safe and sound. But if you look for me on Friendster I won't be there. It was fun a long time ago, and now, well now, I just... don't use it any more. Now from the VIRTUAL ASHES WILL RISE A NEW PHOENIX OR FIRE EATING MONSTER THAT WILL BE more powerful. The Phoenix raises High and CANOOT STAY ON FSTER. IT must Cancel cancel cancel cancel cancel its account.

PHOENIX ROCK

We must pull THroughh in Trubbling TIemez

Two things to Worry about
1. When I tried to visit this honorable online journal, it did not show up. It said that firefoz couldn't find it..!? Then finally it showed up. So I guess you can stop worrying about that, unless you work for google in which case you can tell me. WHy DId this happen. PEOPLE NEED ASCCESS TO RSBF IN TIMES OF STRIFE> !
2. I hear on the radio that the GOVERNMENT IS BUYING TOXIC ACIDS???? what ? Why do they want toxic acids. I would have thought we should bury all of our toxic acids deep in the ground, but not near the water suply. Do you think they are buying F*(*ked up battery acid? Listen, some of you out there may trust the governement, but I don't. I live my life totally off the grid and I only trek into town to write these blogs. So when everyone gets drenched with toxic acid, don't come running to me for help. I'll just say "I TOLD YOU SO"

3. On the plus side, THERE"S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEANS. Yesterday I made lunch like this. Pintobeans, heated, then simply cut up hot n spicey green pepper, and SHARP CHEEDER CHEESE. Yum and Cheap too. NOTHYING RONG WITH ZBWESN

R

Murder By INternets

Whats up farters. I think I am getting sick again. That will be the 2˜∂ time this winter. I read Chucks Darwin "The origin of species". OH man As you can see i have nothing to say. Can't think of a topic..... and ..... still can't think of it. Except I watched another movie last night and it involved "murder By Phone" As you can tell from the title People Were Murdered By Phone. the murdering tone was the dial. And it just got High Pitched and then people Bleeding out of their eyes. Sad huh. Sad that someone who had that much technical prowess to use a phone decided He neeeded to kill. Rlcky

RSBfart is recesssion proof

All of America's factories are closing down
but nature never stops working

-Spiv (personal communication)

I may have quoted this before but I will do it again beacuse one of the great sages and influencers of kojak was right on this point several years ago. to paraphase , Right now the prospects for employment may be getting bleak but the days are getting longer. That means warm weather and floral growth are on the way followed by fauna of all shapes and sizes. Some say that March come in like a lion and out like a lamb. Some also say the lion will someday lie down with the lamb, which seems less likely.

you're making me sexist

Tonight;s dinner was one of my especialities that I like to call "CHINA NOODLE" . It calls for a number of good ingredients for example TOF peanuts egg noodle zuchinni pepper etc . Another one I had to pick up from the store was GREEN ONION . I went to the mainstream grocer instead of my firendly cooperative due to the rain but still wanted to fo the extra mile ($) for the organic item.

[∆˚∆˚∆]

THe organic green onion wasn't too much more $ so I went ahead and got it . Another thing was it came in a plastic bag but that wasn't much more packaging than the standard pull down one . (wow this is getting boring but almost at the essential point..keep paying attention) Anyways the packing was what they called "BRANDED" as opposed to a generic piece of produce. I payed it no mind but when I got home I realized the brand : " ORGANIC GIRL". That struck me as odd that they would risk alienating half of their target audiences . They must figure the females are more into this type of thing [ not sure how that makes me feel] .

[∆˚∆˚∆]

One other thing about the packaging was that it exclaimed that the onions were not just "washed" but "washed^2" or washed to the second power or "washed squared". In fact they were washed twice which is not the second power of once unless by one you mean the square root of two

1 = √2 ?????????

MOral of the story: I don;t mind using a product for girls but don't come in my face with a false exponent! -kojak

3rd Movie review EVER!!!!Soylent Green is made of Peeps

Disclaimer if you don't know SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE FROM PEOPLE then don't read this because it will ruin a movie I saw last night Called "Soylent Green: Made from People" Starrrrring Chas Heston. Actually it doens't ruin it because I, personally allready knew this astounding fact due to many a "POP" culture reference. So I knew that SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE FROM PEOPLE. What I wanted was

THE BIG PERFORMATIVE PAYOFF! I wanted to see that man scream "Soylent green is..." etc. And he doesn't, until the end, and its not even that much of a death curdling scream as you might expect. Its more of a Whimper. Strange I thought to myself, I thought this dude was going to Bust OFff screaming the aforementioned exclamation like crazy and loud with mad emotions. But lo it seems that the subsequent performances of people making fun of him in later movies/tv shows/ etc that I have seen in fact had more emotion and horror.

Whats more is that you may not remember there are other food products in this film and it remains unclear: they may or may not be "made from people". For example Soylent Red, and then we've got a very nice soylent yellow on the menu this evening. ! NOW LET ME STOP YOU RIGHT THERE> I know what you are thinking - its this- rocky I know you are a funny man and I appreciate your jokes about soylent green and all this variations on it but certainly I know they are SIMPLY JOKES> But FOLX::::::: That my folky friends is where you are WRONG WRONG WRONG because its not me whos being funny its the funny hollywood producers. Because ITS TRUE they have other soylents in this movie. So here are my guesses about what the other soylents are made from.

Soylent Yellow: Its made from PEE!
Soylent Brown: Its made from BROWNIES!!
Soylent Red: Its made from red apples pomegranates and acai superfood!!!
Soylent Purple: Its made from Purple dye #37!!!!
Soylent Puse: Its made from Barf!!!!!!!!
Soylent Periwinkle: Its made from SANTA CLAUS!@!!!

r

save the date : RSBfart 5 year anniversary BASHMENT

I know I've been getting a little too historical lately but just wanted to mention a great event currently in the planning stages to celebrate 5 years of the FIRST BLOG to ever really be taken seriously (before that it was only computer geeks and everyone else maybe thought it was a gimmick) .

ANYway the "actual" blogaverisary will be in late june but the PARTY will be JULY 5th in the great state of VErmont hosted by la familia de kojak . Another excuse for partying is graduatation from school at last. activities may include.............
camping, maple syrup, fun foods, barnyard jam session, Cro-K, von C , b boys, &c...

2nd ever movie review - EVER!

Remember how our first random sketchy movie review left you wanting more....??
Well it came to my attention awhile back that there was another potentially relevant piece of cinema out there called THE WACKNESS . it then faded from my attention until cermak brought it home from the video store.

Yes indeed the WACKness is the title of the film and it goes something like this. Dude is OG prep school drug dealer with hip hop walkman but still thinks his life is "WACK" cuz he lacks the girl. he goes around talking about how everything is "MAD WACK" until he gets the girl which is "MAD DOPE" but then he screws that up and everything is back to "MAD WACK" again.

Is the lingo enough to save the film from the obvious fact that it's not as good as donny darko? In the eyes of this review I must say not really . Although it is helped by some WUTANG beats that is negated by the fact that method man appears in the film as a fakin jamaican.
kojak

The Game people play

Sometimes, imagine this- you are walking down the street. NOw you KNOW THERE IS SOMEONE behind you because you HEAR their FOOTSTEPS. So you say to yourself. WELL: ROCKY. now you have to make the "AGE OLD" decision and that is weather should you SPEED UP YOUR WALKING TEMPO. or conversly Slow it down. So you say to yourself. NO ONE PASSES ME: NOT WHILE I"M WALKIN!!!!! ha ha! you say. as you speed up the temp and assure yourself of worldwide supremacy.

And just when you think you are home free- here come the **)# footsteps once again. I mean- just "What" is the person tryiing to prove and + I DO not appreciate Stalkers. SO you say to (inside your head, not out loud). OK "Friend" you want to play eh? and you take it up one more notch. Of course this freak stays with you as if he is DESPAREATLEy Trying to prove some silly trifling little point at your expense. So finally. Guess what you psychopathhic stalking homicidal maniac (mind you, you still haven't shown your utter weakness by looking back yet, not at least you still have that part of your dignity) you say FINE. you want to play games with me. Lets play. Go ahead and pass me if it really matters all that much to you. So you put on the old BRAKES. and now this fool does the same thing. and They are REALLY TESTING YOU LIMITS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What do you want to do follow me by 4 feet all day long. You are getting a SEVERE ITCH! to turn around and look at what type of person would be capable of such behaviour. Inside your head you are saying. Im goonna turn around IM GOONNA TURN AROUND ()()IM GONNA DO IT!!!!!*#&$*(#&(*#$&%*&#*(%&#*%&%*#&*(. and then what do you know the person stops and goes into a doorway. It looks like they won the battle. THIS TIME
Rocky

Bday Craze!

Birthday shout out to aquarius's. Did I get this wrong? What is the actual date of the Kojaks Birthday. I even tried to log onto friendster to see if it would tell me. But no it didn't. that makes me think of friendster suicide just a little bit more. Any Way Big Shout out. You Graduaated To Phd before you were 30 and that not somehting that everyone can say. Well. I guess everyone can say that, but most of them would be lying through their teeth. 30 is a ripe number. Ripe ripe ripe.

Rocky

5hundy = almost a milly

1st off I'd like to congratulate rocky on creating the 500th post of this blog ! you may have already won a special prize!! KEEP PAYING ATTENTION y'all

in honor of this occasion let's flash back and also emphasize that life often repeates itself but changed up in slightly formations. EXamine this post about stars on a bike well it turns out I just got some sweet mudflaps with stars on them and yes indeed they do rule ˙˙˜øˆøˆˆº



AND to anyone that doubted this blog I'm just sayin write 500 genius posts at your own blog then maybe you can say something

Cat news

Some days my cat is especially NAUGHTY for example this morning she got up at 630 amnd went in circles around my room trying to get out the windows. Then she tries to play and chase a toy right next to my sleeping roomates room. Then I am at the computer and she comes over and proceeds to knock everyting off the desk. Especially my cell pyhone whihc she nocked off 2 or 3 times. (One time even making it bang so hard it asked me to "insert smart chip" WHAT???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Then she comes back and tries to take th e old ornaments off the cristmas tree. I grab her about 3 time away and tries to spin around so she loses attention then even force her to sit in my lap for about 2 minutes. AND Yet her attention is so focussed that she re-approaches her mission and goes to the tree again looking to take off the same ornament. Woaw. Whats the deal? Is it because I didn't feed her? No I put food in the bowl. Or what. I don't know Here you see her scheming and about to cause more mischeif-R

TIme Steps

Here is a technique I have learned. Sometimes when it seems like you have a lot to do or just a lot of busy work that seems like its going to take too long and you don't feel like it is worthy of your time. Then as you are walking you say to yourself " one, One, one, one, one" that way you are counting your steps, but you are also showing that you could do infinite # of steps and you would still be at the same number so its like you are not wasting time. Because what is "time" anyway?
Rockjy

2009 new life

welcome to enjoy the new year: one thing I'll say for it is my favorite Viet deli has new and improved peanut sauce that I look foward to enjoying through the LUNAR new year and beyond. Being ALL GRADUATED AND ALL is kinda interesting but I'm as yet struggling to appreciate the new found freedom. One problem is FREEDOM is often equated with having to make annoying choices about things that used to be AUTOMATIC. for example finding a health care plan and buying bus passes - that's just a total pain! !! Also the freedom to find new jobs and places to work so far amounts to too much walking around with a laptop looking at BORING WEBSITES, not like this one which I have looked at far too infrequently (KOjak