Sunday, October 30, 2005

Dear World, a letter from RSBF

Dear World,

I have enjoyed our time together very much. You have been a good friend, tirelessly constructing a barely-stitched-together reality so that I might comment on it and tear it up to shreds. World, I know I have been harsh and even critical at times, for that I am sorry. It is my nature as an easy form of publication that I might be the medium for rants, raves, and other such forms of griperance. Unfortunately I can't be anything other than what I am. And I am Random Sketchy Brain Fart. An online journal dedicated to...freedom of speech, sniff, and all that which is good and true about complaining.

But now world I must ask YOU a question. Why have I been forsaken? Who forsaked me, and how long is this process of forsooking must go on before I strangle and wheez out my last spunky breath onto and plate glass window. And fall splatt down onto the concrete my bleeding face making a dull thud as it rams into broken stop sign.

Optimistically yours
rsbf

(channelled by rk)

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Prose Stylist in Family continues to spew forth literary genious

from my uncle to my brother

> Rambo, Northern Cal. was so awesome. Went cruising
> through the ancient
> redwood forests.My neck was a little tender from
> looking up so much. Rolly
> Polly hills on 101. Trudging up one side then
> likitty split down the other.
> Near fatality's with rolly polly motorhomes. You get
> these old codgers who
> can't drive an automobile and put them behind the
> wheel of these rolling ft
> knox's, it can only mean certain dobicles. They
> would moe you down and turn
> you into another grease spot on the road and not
> even know it. Oh, the
> humanity. Had one flat, and many fine mammeries.
> Maybe we can all meet in
> Frisco.
>
> KEEP PUNCHIN, AND WATCHOUT FOR THAT
> THUNDEROUS UPPER CUT___
> literally KICK THEIR ASS, G****

rkd

Monday, October 10, 2005

NEWSFLASH: kojak reportedly considering offline "brix n'mortar" lifestyle

with regards to rocky's rant N'wisdom on the NTY: I think its highly symbolic of the decline of online life. Vis-A-Vis the INTERNET , real LIfe is getting better all the time> (no not TV!!!) .
1. (Example relating to ROcky's point previously mentioned): if you go into cafe's especially late in the afternoon you can often find the NYT for free and read all the sections you want. Except for last week, someone had cut out some stuff out...
2. (*Also related to something rocky said about RAIN) on a rainy day its especially nice to get some of the newsprint on your fingers. This is much better that going to a computer LAB and tocuhing the gross keyboard
3. (mainly thought of myself) an alaming number of non-FLatering pictures of KOJAk are appearing on various internet locals. In real life, if I look bad I disappear real fast (like around corners) and then people forget they saw me. If I look good a hang out more ...but only for limitied amounts of time. In conlusion, a pictuer is sometimes not worth 100 words...

-kojak

Destroy?

all who think RSBF should be exploded and destroyed say "I"
r

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Life improvements brought to you by NATURE™

YOu know what improves a lifestyle? Some rain in the morning. what it does is eeeeeaaasssssseeeeeeeeeee you into the day> .> WEll now I am not so sure about that, cuz its 1141 am. and Now I have WASTED HALF THE DAY ON LITERARY PURSUITS and Showering. When its raining outside I like to take an extra long extra cold shower and then I imagine myself in the rain. I imagine the rain flowing down the gutters and into the drain pipes collecting dirt and trash and chewed up gum, dog sh*T and oil slicks and then coming into my water system and just pouring ALL OVER ME. (Sometimes I bring an umbrella in the shower) he he
he he he he he he!!!!!!!!!! just kidding ALL LIES HA HA. ha ha is real laughing, he he is FAKE laughing.

r_0_c_K_y__d_Y_N_a_M_i_c