craigsLIST HIJINKS

I am selling this little red bike my friend found on the street for 25 bucks. Here is the post
This is a very stylish little bike. It has handbrakes, a freewheel and a nice little rack on the back. It is made in the style of a folding bike, but it should be noted that it does not have a hinge to fold on.
It needs some attention- the front wheel is a bit wobbly, the chain/crank needs adjustment as it slips a bit on while pedaling. Currently one tires is flat.
If you want to make a little project out of it (or have a shop fix it) this bike could be the coolest. I wish I could keep it but I don't have the time or space.
The following is a crazy craiglister who's email name is "ihfghfghzs /"
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I am very interested. Don't know where to fix it ok but it should fit me and my pockets.

please contact for sale arrangement and do be human about it: not coldblooded 'first come first serve' so that when i take the subway all the way to see and pick up AFTER HAVING MADE A SOLID APPOINTMENT, you say, oh, som' jus pickit! (This is one of the reasons i am FOR gun control. I could have shot three idiot craigslist bike sellers!)

regards

betty
so I write back
I am waiting for a confirmation to show the bike tomorrow evening. If you would like to see it, please let me know when you are available. If before or during tomorrow eve and I don't get a confirm ...BLA BLA BLA nice nice nice

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The other appointment i mentioned fell through so I tell her. Then she writes back with her phone number. I call her and leave a message on a machine that has no name and a very foreign voice. She calls me back and wants to talk a long time and about the bike. It turns out her name is NOT BETTY (this is just a fake name she gives to "Crazy" bike sellers on craigslist). It looks like I am earning her trust.

I tell her- its just "As is" if you want to see it. She tells me she is living in "Bed Stoo" and that she is from Canada- yet her accent was very much like Bjork's... she says she keeps buying bikes, but what she really wants is her "beautiful" bike in Canada. She cannot see the bike today cuz its RAINING(???wtf?). and she wants to walk FROM Bed Stoo to Greenpoint (is that near williamsburg? yes duh) -and that is way too far! So at the end of the conversation she reveals her name is ISABELLA and not Betty. So ANYWAY it stopped rainig later and I want to get rid of this thing so I call her. I ask for Isabella- she says "you have the wrong number" and starts to hang up in paranoia-and I'm like its ME with the bike. and I say I want to show it tonite, if you can't do it, I may show it to someone else. Then she says Oh my friend told me YESTERDAY that its too expensive to fix, so I don't want it anyway.

YOU FREAK! Anyway here is the real kicker I was going to call the next person on the list and I ACCIDENTLLY dialed Betty or Isabella or whoever she is again, woops I realized so I just hung up. THEN SHE CALLS ME BACK ONCE. I don't pick up, she hangs up and 2 rings. THEN SHE CALLS ME BACK AGAIN! and I let it go to the answer. I listen to the answermachine. She says- "I told you I didn't want the bike. My friend says its going to cost 40 or maybe even 60 dollars to fix." then she says. "Do not ever call us again" can I say this again- FREAK! I was thinking about writing something like this:

"I just don't understand why you don't want this bike. First you way one thing and then another> I want to meet you face to face. If you give me 10 good reasons for not wanting this perfectly good bike, I might let it go. But this is unnacceptable. I need to know who you are and I need to see some papers. I need to know you nationality and full name or else I am calling the police. Until then I will continue to call until you talk with me sensibly." KIDDING. how do you think she's react? ??? PSYCHOPATH