RNC YOU GOT A HOLD ON ME

we can all smell it here in manhattan. the RNC is coming! RUN! HIDE! STOCK UP ON FOOD!

so, how are YOU preparing for the RNC? I myself am working hard both at home and in the workplace. you see, I can CONTROL the CELLULAR SERVICE in madison square garden from my desk. at the CLICK OF MY TRACKWHEEL MOUSE, POOF! bye bye to any republican who uses a cell phone on MY NETWORK! MWAHAHAHA!

I also am ordering like a THREE WEEK SUPPLY of groceries from freshdirect just in case the MILLIONS OF PROTESTERS break out of the CHELSEA PIERS PRISON and never leave our FREAKING CITY. you're laughing now, but in a week when this city goes APESHIT and all the tourists have EATEN OUR FOOD, see who's chomping on some tender FREE-RANGE CHICKEN and ORGANIC OKRA.

TO SUM UP, every night I look at the apartment across the way from my building and see a BIG SIGN that says 'BUSH' in xmas lights. it reminds me that CHAOS may be on its way, but DAMMIT I'M READY.